Price and Prejudice

In homes across India, all parents goad their children to do their best for the 10th and 12th Board Exams. While the kids slog on a table, parents scan their progress, keep foodstuff and crunchy munchies handy and all the while praying for the best. After the 12th Boards, the problem of sending the ward to a good university for graduation comes up. At least for girls.
If the girl was born in a metro, these problems do not usually arise, cos the distance to a good college or university can easily be shortened if you know the bus/train/auto routes or have your own private vehicle or somebody to drop you. But for a small-town gal, the bumps on the road to a bright career are many. Family circumstances may force you to drop your plans for further studies outside. And assuming parents are willing, the next problem is the Problem of local guardian. You may have good friends and relatives in the city, but once you drop the hint of local guardian, you see their smiles vanishing as fast as the ice on Antarctica. Sure, boys have their own set of problems, but  to be the local guardian of a girl ?! What if she falls in love and runs away? Or what if she gets in trouble with the roadside Romeos and dishonours our name ? Questions like these bubble up in the minds of the 'local guardians' even when the parents offer multiple assurances. And the poor girl has to swear the family honour above all her wishes and desires....And if any hint is detected in that area, the gal is immediately packed off and her further education stopped. And married off without much ado to somebody unseen and unheard before....

Gals of India, before committing yourself to any foolish and desperate attempts to end your life, Please go thru Indian laws, especially The Protection of Women From Domestic Violence Act,2005. Seek help of NGO's who take up the cause of women and keep your certificates handy for a job suited to your education level.

FOOD AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

The attack on Celebrity Chef  Nigella Lawson at a posh London restaurant by her millionaire husband has raised many eyebrows. I had observed Nigella's Tv episodes once and loved her big smile as she went around the kitchen, cooking and sharing tips at the same time.

Traditionally, women have been associated with creation. Creation includes food recipes as well. Women were expected to observe and create masterpieces that were pleasing to the eye and appealed to taste. Girls observed their mothers and other female members and helped them in and around the kitchen.

So far, so good. BUT, if your wife's culinary skills were not upto the standard of your mom, or failed to create the magic in certain recipes, the woman in question would be in serious trouble.Women were likely to face physical abuse over a late serving of food from their husbands.  Neighbours and Relatives would be ready to speak against a Mrs. Somebody if during a festival she failed to add 'a little bit salt here, a pinch of haldi there' and so on. No matter if the poor soul was sweating profusely, stuck with work inside a hot kitchen, while everyone sat outside in cool settings. Dowry deaths were caused commonly inside the kitchen or nearby.

Today, in spite of serious advancements in food technology,new machines and ready-to-eat idlis,dhoklas,gulab jamuns and other famous food packets marketed by big companies ( Kitchens of India), we still expect women to be experts in kitchens. She must sacrifice her time and energy for her family. If guests arrive unexpectedly, the best food item must be served to them. In some cultures women can dine only when the men have finished their meals and kept 'leftovers' for the women to dine later. Indian women are expected to fast for their husbands, and wait hungry till the husband arrives from work. If the wife has a job, she may be excused perhaps ( in a nuclear family this is easy), but in joint families established in rural surroundings, societal norms are strictly in place. Chaatwalas and Gol-gappa stalls are more frequented by men than women. And normally you do not expect boys to help in kitchens nor men cooking( there are exceptions). Hotels in metros have male chefs with impressive resumes and stellar cuisines to impress diners, but your kitchen has to be supervised by a woman.

The fact is, whether you are a celebrity chef, a director of a  firm or an ordinary housewife, kitchen duties are a part of your life, a survival trait handed down from generation to generation.  But my request to the men who throw tanturms even after crossing their teens is, please spare a thought for the woman in the house (mom/sister/wife/girlfriend/live-in partner,daughter/ mother-in-law,sister-in-law,daughter-in-law and even those neighbourhood aunties who may be willing to help in the face of an emergency). God has given you two hands for productive work. If something failed to cheer your tastebuds, stop blaming the cook in question. It would be far better to call up for free home deliveries, or do something yourself.