Incidents of Misogyny prevailing over India

While 2014 has ushered in debates and outrage over sexual harassment of interns by retired judges as well as rapes of foreign tourists, we are continuously bombarded with news updates of the next crime via twitter hashtags and status updates on Facebook. Musing over the last year’s memories, I can confidently say that though we have realized the importance of women having rights, we have yet to cover many further milestones.

 Here, I would like to recall two distinct incidents that occurred in 2013 and brought home the fact that the position of girls is indeed precarious.  :

Incident No. 1

I was waiting with my parents at a railway station in a city. It was in October and I had come to appear at a competitive examination in the city. Now we were waiting for the train to arrive, seated within the first class railway lounge. There was another family in the same lounge. It was a couple with their 3 young children, two of them being girls. The man was employed in the Indian Army (judging from his manner) and was certainly holding some important position (now and then a few jawans would appear at the lounge, salute him and then converse something with him).

While I was minutely observing his kids( having nothing better to do at the moment), two jawans turned up at the lounge and saluted him. One of them with a packet of ladoos in his hand loudly conveyed, “Sir, Subedar X ne ye mithai bheja he. Ladka hua he.” (Subedar X has sent these sweets. A son has been born to him). The mithais were accepted and the Officer conveyed his greetings to the father of the newborn.

I did not know the family nor they knew us. When our respective trains turned up at the station, the family left first and later we left as well. But I was left with a barrage of questions.  Why do we celebrate the birth of a son with ladoos? Wouldn’t it be proper if every new born was welcomed in a family, irrespective of gender? What did it speak about the behavior of a person who accepted the ladoos without question? And of the attitudes prevailing among our armed forces?

 I had no answers then and felt it improper to interrupt the conversation between the jawans and the officer at that time.  But in my heart I felt a deep sadness.

Incident no. 2

It was December and I was listening to a radio broadcast on my mobile. It was an hourly program on menstrual problems of adolescent girls on Vividh Bharati Channel and a gynecologist had been invited to answer questions regarding the female body and hygiene. As the anchor fired off questions one after the other on menstruation, the gynecologist answered them at length, citing hormonal changes in the female body as well as physical appearance of girls.

At a certain juncture, the gynecologist, in reply to a question posed by the anchor, stated: Mothers should watch over their daughters, so that their daughters do not indulge in such activities that lead them to pregnancy.

Once again I was reminded about the low position of girls. Here, the expert in question was a female who thought it necessary to caution mothers (the target audience is certainly women) by keeping watch over their daughters. Again I felt myself being stabbed by questions: Was the mother solely responsible for watching over her daughter/ daughters? What if the mother was not around and was working far away (construction site/ factory / school/ college/ bank/ office) or was dead? What about those scenarios where a family friend or guardian molested the girl frequently? What about the victims of sexual assault and those who were disabled as well, making them vulnerable to the mercy of others? And the psychological impact of an unwanted pregnancy on an adolescent girl at a time when the Indian society is harsh towards victims of sexual assault and rape? While progress in court trials moving at a snail’s pace sums up the feeling of ‘delayed justice means denied justice’?

I do not have answers to these questions as well.